Overcome

Where are the heroes in my time of need? Is my cry not loud enough or have they gone all numb? They just stand and stare, out in the rain. Thinking but not acting, that they're not to blame.

Falling and crawling, a fight to stand up. Memory still haunts me in the dead of night. Over and over, I felt so small. But one day, I'll be stronger and you better watch out.

I will overcome your violence, their silence - Although it can't be undone. I will overcome knowing that I'm not the only one. I will overcome, it's the only way to carry on.

Where are the saviours? Afraid of the toll... Sorry do my nine inch nails slash your soul? Such heroes, throwing stones straight at the one who is standing alone...

Twisting and turning - It's always the same. Truth is never honest when you're to blame.

Pushing and pulling - Never give in! One day I wish you'll see you're not so beautiful within.

I will overcome your violence, their silence - Although, it can't be undone. I will overcome knowing I'm not the only one. I will overcome, it's the only way to carry on.

Now I Know....

It's never easy to try to find the ways or words to let things be known. Especially when it's something so fragile and life changing. There's no easy way to hear you've been diagnosed with something, something out of your worst fears.... a mental illness.

About 2 months ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and the first thoughts I had of it were "Split Personality" = "CRAZY"!!!! But now that I've read more about it and got a new medication, I've understood things about me and things I've done in the past where it felt like it wasn't me.

Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD is a serious condition but one that has been overlooked and misrepresented. It does NOT mean that a person is literaly crazy like most people would assume to think when they think of a mental illness. They are actually trying to change BPD to 'Emotionally Challenged Syndrome/Disorder' but there is still a stigma out there about it.

Pretty much my thought control is not like any normal person and with that, my emotions are unstable and radical so dealing with thoughts and emotions for me are more difficult than for a normal person. They call it 'Black & White' thinking - just like a baby, I don't see the color in my thoughts and emotions. This wasn't something that hit me suddenly, I've had it a long time but never knew it.

I'm reading 2 books on it right now and seeing a therapist who helps alot in the process of getting me better. It's really hard to explain BPD unless you educate yourself about it.