Now I Know....

It's never easy to try to find the ways or words to let things be known. Especially when it's something so fragile and life changing. There's no easy way to hear you've been diagnosed with something, something out of your worst fears.... a mental illness.

About 2 months ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and the first thoughts I had of it were "Split Personality" = "CRAZY"!!!! But now that I've read more about it and got a new medication, I've understood things about me and things I've done in the past where it felt like it wasn't me.

Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD is a serious condition but one that has been overlooked and misrepresented. It does NOT mean that a person is literaly crazy like most people would assume to think when they think of a mental illness. They are actually trying to change BPD to 'Emotionally Challenged Syndrome/Disorder' but there is still a stigma out there about it.

Pretty much my thought control is not like any normal person and with that, my emotions are unstable and radical so dealing with thoughts and emotions for me are more difficult than for a normal person. They call it 'Black & White' thinking - just like a baby, I don't see the color in my thoughts and emotions. This wasn't something that hit me suddenly, I've had it a long time but never knew it.

I'm reading 2 books on it right now and seeing a therapist who helps alot in the process of getting me better. It's really hard to explain BPD unless you educate yourself about it.